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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

How Do You Like the Casserole?

Know what I hate? (You should. It's most of what I blog about.)

I hate when people ask me if I like a new food or drink, the second it hits my lips.

You've been there. You take one bite, and before you can pull the fork out of your mouth, "Well? What do you think?" I think I'd like to swallow this before take the stand!

Even worse is when you haven't even tried it, yet. I mean, excuse me if that freaky fungi-lookin' stuff wasn't the first thing I put it my mouth. They don't care. When you tell them, "Oh, I haven't tried that, yet," they're like, "Oh really? Well, take a bite now. I'll watch."

Bid mistake. If I have to look you in the eye and tell you that your green bean disasterole tastes delicious, you're gonna see right through it. Especially if my tongue is still trying to contact FEMA.

Don't get me wrong. I understand how you feel. It must have been hard work getting a live meerkat into a blender. You want to see my face light up as the village is raided and the riots begin. But now is not the time. You've gotta give me a minute to choke it down and think of a good lie. Otherwise, all you're going to get is a, "It's, uh...," while I probe the rest of your abomination for hidden anti-mutagens.


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