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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It's Where My Butt Landed?

My future lady is in for a surprise. One day, she's gonna walk into the room and find me watching tv. What she won't expect, is to see me seated on the floor with my back against the couch.

Soon after, she'll walk in and find me in front of the tv, sprawled across the carpet (we have to have carpet in front of the tv). It's an old habit I picked up from my dad. Why does he do it? The best reason I can think of is that it's because he grew up with more siblings than could fit on a couch.

In either case, she will likely ask me why I'm on the floor, in front of an empty couch. How will I respond? I came up with some ideas...

"Just fell. Lil' help?"

"I was saving the couch for you."

"I farted. Heat rises. Gotcha. You're it."

"I'm playing couch. Have a seat."

"Well, I was waiting on that vacuum." *side-eye* "But I see you don't have it with you..."

"Girl, you don't feel the feng shui I just did?"

"Upskirts."

"Dag you nosy!"

"I was coppin' a feel. This is nice carpet."

I bet it's no big deal. She probably won't care. Who knows, maybe she'll join me, and we can be like the happy young couple I found when I googled "laying on carpet."


1 comment:

Jak said...

I found this in the depths of Google Reader. This is very interesting.