Friday, August 21, 2009

Words of Wisdom for New Pirates

College. My return approches.

It’s only been a couple weeks since summer sessions, but I’m ready. Why?

I go to ECU!

Pirate Country, fool!

Slap somebody!

I’ll tell ya what: I hate school. I love East Carolina University.

I dunno, maybe I’m just biased (I am), but there’s something great about stepping on the ECU campus. I don’t believe in “energies” or anything like that, but whatever it is, you can feel it.

I look forward to it.

But one thing I've done over my break is step up my Twitter presence (follow me, fool!). I've been trying to connect with not only Greenville, but ECU students. And I've found a lot of incoming students. So I figured I'd do my part, as an experienced Pirate, and share a few things I feel new Pirates ought to know.

So, being the bum that I am, I took what was going to be a list of my favorite things about ECU, and turned it into a list of things new students ought to know about.

I'm a genius.

  1. Check your email constantly

    Yeah, I doubt it’s really ECU-specific, but good heavens! These teachers email you constantly – about really important stuff. Route it your phone, if you can. Don’t be surprised when you get emails telling you about homework assignments due the next day or classes cancelled that morning. It happens every semester. These teachers, like all teachers, are pure evil.

  2. Ride the “drunk bus”

    Do it. I’m not telling you to get drunk. I’m just telling you to ride the late bus on the weekend, with the people who are drunk. That's good times. Singing and dancing, puking, kissing on dares, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria! (sorry)

  3. Go to Christy’s

    Christy’s Euro Pub is a great place to hang out and chill. It’s on… um… Jarvis Street? Ask somebody, everybody knows it. If I loved you guys, I’d look this stuff up for you…

    Anyways, the hot dogs are bangin', great atmosphere, and it’s a pub. It's an all-around cool spot.
    Check out Christy's on Facebook and MySpace.

  4. Don’t wear your NC State gear

    I don't know, people just don’t seem to take kindly to it…

  5. Ignore the squirrels

    I know. They’re everywhere, they’re cute, and they're comfortable around people. That’s all very interesting. But they’re more intelligent than you, and if you threaten them, they will kill you and make it look like an accident. If you try to scare, catch or play with one of these beasts, and you wake up dead, under a tree, next to a banana peel, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  6. Don't take math with online homework

    Worst idea, ever. I made this mistake once, and I'll never make it again. If your math teacher assigns homework and quizzes through MyMathLab, just drop it. Get another teacher.

  7. Remember Chanello’s

    Chanello’s Pizza is a great spot for close, cheap, late-night eats. And it’s good! They’re on Charles Blvd, right in front of Harris Teeter (easy walk from College Hill), and they’re open ‘til like, 3am. Did I mention it was cheap? And good?

  8. Don’t get shot

    Seriously. There's been a bit of a jump in violent crime, since spring semester. I know it seems like downtown is right next door (and it is), but don't let that fool you into thinking you're still on campus. Security has been ramped up, but still, just be careful.

  9. Ride your bike on the road, not on the sidewalk

    Don't do it. I’ll hate you.

  10. Learn to walk in heels, or don’t wear them

    Ladies. if you’re going to dress to impress and wear your heels downtown, learn how to walk in them. The only thing that looks worse than a hammered chick, clinging to the neck of her girlfriend, yelling at strangers on the street at 2am is a sober girl, carrying her own shoes. It’s just a sad sight.

Now, wasn't that educational?

Wait... I forgot one thing... If you're downtown and somebody from G-Vegas Magazine stops you and your friends, asking if you want to be in a picture - huddle. Huddle quickly. You don't wanna look like a "that guy" with your own friends. I've been there...

Have fun.
Be safe.

Oh, and uh... ARRRRRRRGH!

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