The album came out Tuesday, like CDs usually do, and I went to bed the night before, dead set on coppin' dat ish in the morning, son.
I ate breakfast, which included a single, gross boiled egg (are the brown ones supposed to taste different?), and was about to get dressed when I remembered that I had about 1/8th of a tank of gas in my car. If I went to Best Buy, which is 30 minutes away, I'd have to stop and get gas.
I know what you're thinking: "That is the beginning of the dumbest argument, ever, dumbhead. If you don't buy gas today, you'll just have to buy it the next time you got out. You're dumb, dummy."
Please, don't even act like you haven't done it. Besides, that wasn't all. It was the only place I needed to go. 30 minutes there, 30 minutes back. An hour's worth of gas, just for a CD (yeah, I measure gas in minutes, got problems?).
Now, I've got friends, reading this now, thinking "I know Chris would totally make that drive for a CD!" And if Lily Allen had been one of my favorite artists, like, in my top 50, there would have been no question as to whether I was going out or not.
Yeah... I'm pretty sure I could list 50 artists I would have made that drive for...
But Lily Allen? She's just not up there. I think I'll like the album. And if it's as good as the first, I'll be glad I bought it. But I knew that if I waited until the next day, I'd already be driving more than halfway to Best Buy, just to get to work. Unfortunately for Lily's release day sales numbers, I decided to save the gas and get it before work, Wednesday (yesterday, for those having trouble keeping up).
Yesterday morning I had everything timed just right. I left the house about 45 minutes before I needed to be at work, which was only 20 minutes away. Now, Best Buy was about 10 minutes past work, but Target was on the way to work. The plan was that I would stop at Target and look for the CD on the way to work. If it cost much more than $9.99, I would go to Best Buy after work.
I almost bought it, but I didn't. My next thought:
Zombie Strippers, anyone?
Whatever, I decided to wait for Best Buy.
Five minutes before I got off work, I got a phone call from home asking me to pick up a pizza on the way back. Of course, I accepted. I woudn't kick kittens into traffic and I wouldn't turn down a pizza. I'm human.
Dad agreed to call in the order. But as I walked out of work, it hit me. It would take me about 30 minutes longer to get to the pizza place (and home) if I went to Best Buy. I thought about calling back and asking Dad to delay his order by half an hour, but it just felt rude...
Maybe I'll buy it today. But today is a like Tuesday, I don't have any other reason to go out. 30 minutes there, 30 minutes back. An hour's worth of gas, just for a CD.
I can't win.
Whoa! I just found two ink pens and my old copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the book) behind my bed.
...These are nice pens!