Wednesday, February 25, 2009

It's Not That I'm Lazy, It's That I Just Don't Care

I feel that perhaps, my days of traditional employment are numbered. I don't think I can answer to people for the rest of my life. I'm starting to think that in order for me to happy, even content with my career, I'm gonna have to be self-employed, or at least in a position that holds me to deadlines and little else.

And no, this is not about cell phones, though it may have been the straw that broke the camel's back (or at least made him wonder why the #%$& he was carrying so much straw).

I think I have a problem with authority. That may sound odd, coming from a guy who's been to detention a whole one time and who's only "run-in with the law" is a single traffic ticket. "How could a guy who never gets in trouble have a problem with authority?" Simple: I'm nice. I don't like hurting people. I don't like putting people through trouble. I don't mind going out my way for the people I care about.

In the workplace that translates to only a moderate concern for customer satisfaction. I don't want to think that someone paid money and I reduced the value of the product, because that's not fair. That's not to say that I like obeying my... my "superiors..."

There are few things on this Earth I hate more than being told what to do. Sounds childish? I guess it probably is. Plain and simple: If you, a parent, a teacher, a boss, the law - anybody tells me to do something and I do it, it's because:
1. I agree that it's the right thing to do.
2. I don't want to deal with the consequences of not doing it.
3. I don't think it's worth arguing over.

The fact that someone has been placed in a position of authority over me doesn't motivate me, whatsoever. If I don't want to do (or feel like doing) what I've been told to do (1), the consequences are negligible (2), and it's going to put me through a significant bit of trouble (3), I'm most likely not going to do it.

And if you really think about it, you'll realize that most people operate the same way.

On top of that, I really just hate taking orders. Like when I'm minding own business, doing my job, and someone tells me, "Hey, Chris, why don't you try this? Try doing it this way. Thanks, man." Constructive criticism. Fair enough, right? I'll take it, consider it and rethink my methods. But there's this little Christian Bale in my mind that goes totally ape$#!%.

What, we're getting poor reviews? I just don't care. I'd like to. It'd be nice if I did.

I've realized that I will probably never be motivated by "the good of the company." I will probably never care if my supervisor likes me. I can't see myself striving to impress. That doesn't mean I won't do my job well, but I don't know if I'll want to "go the extra mile" to put a smile of someones face.

Maybe it's a character flaw. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm just a douche. Maybe I just need to deal with it and get used to having people in charge of me.

Millions upon millions of workers get up every day, and go to jobs they don't care about and perform just as I've described. You know them. They walk around like Wally from Dilbert, avoiding all the real work they can and stay under the radar until 5 o'clock. If I end up in a cubicle, I know I'll be that guy.

Maybe I can succeed, motivated by my own success, working for something I believe in, without someone else breathing down my neck, making sure he get's his money. Maybe I can find a career where I can at least work alone and get credit for my own work, instead of just being drop in somebody's "labor" bucket.

I'd probably be doing the world a favor. No one needs another Wally.


Ariel said...

I think you should be the boss. That would fix the problem.

Charles said...

I feel you. I'm trying to get this art thing jumping off so that will be my full time...

Katie said...

Couldn't agree more. I have classic "If I ran the world" syndrome. If I ran the world, or a company, or even just a project, I could probably do it better. It's hard to work for other people when you know you could do a better job than they do.

Good luck, though, finding work in a more non-traditional setting. That's the dream.

Britt said...

This post spoke to my heart, but not in that completely weird and sappy way...yeah...anyway, I totally agree!