Thursday, March 12, 2009

"Hey, It's Me... Call Me Back!"

Mustard, mayonnaise, voicemail - to hell with all of them...

Now, while I could spend all day explaining why mustard and mayonnaise deserve eternal damnation (and I just might), I think it's best that I stick to the subject of voicemail, for now.

See, the thing about voicemail is that it started innocently. It was an answering machine for your cell phone. It was intended to be a convenience and, for some, it is. People get to talk to you when you're not able to talk to them. Sounds great!

Wheee! *candy, giggles and playful wedgies*

There are even some people out there who won't even return a call unless you leave them voicemail. "If was that important, they would have left a message."

Well, I'm not that popular.

Frankly, I don't get phone calls every week day (Mom excluded). Phone calls are like Christmas, so I always return the ones I miss and I never turn my phone off (so I get my "missed call" notices). If I see that I have a voicemail, I'll most likely just call you back and delete your message later. That is, unless I'd rather hear your message than actually talk to you. But surely you're not one of those people.

My real problem with voicemail is that rarely does anyone ever say anything important. 90% of my voicemail messages are one of these:
"Hey, it's ____. I was just calling to see what you were doing. Call me back!"
"Hey, it's ____. Call me back!"
or worst of all,
"Hey, it's ____. *story of my day*"

It's enough to make a guy try The Joker's pencil trick on himself.

By this point, you may be wondering why I don't just cancel the service, altogether. Well, despite all I hate about voicemail, there is a justifiable reason for someone like me to have the service. There have been cases (rare, once in a green moon cases), in which people simply call to relay a message. They don't need a response. When I can't answer the phone, they say everything they need to say in a voicemail message. I love these people. I wish nothing but happiness and large tax refunds for these people. They leave the messages I don't mind listening to.

Of course, text messaging easily serves that purpose, and if you have my number, you're free to text me as much as you'd like. Of course, many (if not most) people don't use the service, due to it's additional fees, which is totally understandable.

So, for future reference, just call. As long as it rings, I'll call you back. Honest.

...Unless I hate you.

And for no good reason, I leave you with this:


Mere said...

Ha I'm right there with ya - I only check my voice mail when the message is from a number I don't recognize. If I see that any of my friends called I'm just going to return the call. Maybe.... :)

Ariel said...

I had a comment before the video... i don't remember it now. But the video was hysterical!

Katie said...

I never check my voice mail, especially not now that the keypad on my cell phone won't navigate menus so that I can delete the voice messages as soon as I know who they're from. Chance are, I have your number in my phone and I know why you're calling. If you call, I'll call you back as soon as I can. Otherwise, I'm probably not going to call you back anyhow.

Auror Assassin said...

you never call me back... WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO!?

Maddie Marie said...

um, i too hate voicemail. when it takes me longer to log into the voice mailbox than it does to listen to the message....i want to rip my hair out.

"hi, it's me. i called, but you didn't pick up."

wtf! i know you called. i have a missed call...don't leave messages like that.