Saturday, January 31, 2009

What? Seriously?

I've got to be the least observant person in the world. I miss freakin' everything.

"Whoa, did you see what she was wearing?"
"Huh? Nah, I must've missed it..."

"You remember how to get to my house, right?"
"Um... Could you remind me?"

It's a problem. The truth is, my mind is constantly occupied. If I'm not focused on a task, my thoughts are elsewhere. If I'm in the car with you and we're not talking, don't you think for a second that I'm reading streets signs or committing the trip to memory. I'm thinking about something I've done, something I have to do in the future or something totally off the wall.

The same is true for social situations. I'm not sure if I just can't read body language or if I really just don't see it. But I don't get those hints. If you're not using words, I'm not reading you.

Is it a problem? I dunno...

I've been sick lately. Some kind of nasty cold. I haven't had a good night's sleep in a while. I wake up about five times a night. But today, just this afternoon, I started feeling better. I hope the trend continues.

We had some house guests about a week ago. A couple of family friends. One of them has a real God-given gift of insight. He is also known to speak prophetically, which I've witnessed in the past. God speaks to him. Well, during the visit, he said he wanted to sit down with me for a chat. I'm always stressed, and people can see it, so I expected a question like, "what's on your mind?" But no. He knew what was on my mind. He started talking about the very things that were bothering me - things I've only talked about with a couple close friends. Stuff my parents didn't even know. He started offering advice, good advice, on those specific issues.

The big thing, though, is that several times throughout the visit, he expressed what he saw in my future. And it was big. I don't really know how to take it. I would have never doubted the guy if he wasn't talking about me...

I just realized that I had a CD that hadn't been ripped to my computer. I wonder if there could be another...

This entry was originally going to be entirely about obesity. I decided against it... But I may post it later. :P

So... Lil Wayne wasn't kidding when he said he was gonna do a rap album. He just released his first single on iTunes and such. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda dig it.
Lil Wayne is nominated for 8 Grammys for Tha Carter III, a couple of which I think he deserves. But he also had the biggest selling album of '08. Sorry, Weezy, but top sellers don't get Grammys. Grammys are for old people, dead people and outspoken liberals. We'll see what happens...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why I Don't Have A Dog

This is one of the few times I could pose the question, "what's the point?" and genuinely not know. Millions of Americans have pet dogs, so there must be something to it. Is it playing with the dog? Is it companionship? Or is it the godlike feeling of having a creature's life in your hands?

Now, when I was in third grade, my parents thought it would be nice to get me a dog. My mother brought it home, one day, as a surprise. I was ecstatic! My own dog! He lasted a couple weeks before my parents decided to give him away. I don't even remember his name - or even it's gender. See, it didn't take long for me to realize that the dog was nothing but work. "He" (still assuming) needed to be fed, cleaned up after, etc. And the fact of the matter is that I didn't like the little guy too much.

All he did was bark, poop, pee and vomit. Fun times. I guess if I had trained him well, he would have learned to bark less, pee and poop outside and re-ingest him own vomit. But what are the pros?

Dogs are naked. They run around everywhere, romping in the dirt in their naked bodies, then they want to run around the house, lay on the furniture and shed hair? In my house? Forget that! And that's not enough for them. Dogs always want to be on you, too. I'm sorry, but "animals" and "on people," don't mix, in my book. And I certainly don't want them licking me. Dude! Do you realize that dogs let their nuts hang out in the open? They drag those jokers around outside, too. Then they lick their nuts. Then they lick you. Will pass.


Don't get me wrong, I did my duties, but it just wasn't worth it. All the little bugger did was make noise and make messes, neither of which I was fond of. And I didn't like playing with him. Sure, I would take him outside and throw sticks. He would bring them right back, too. Yay... If I ever accidentally threw a stick that I really needed, I'd have a way to get it back without walking to it. If I was lucky, I could pick the stick up before the little guy touched me.

And, of course, there is the argument of companionship. A dog as a companion. Tell me, whose life sucks so bad, that they get excited to see a dog? I can just see it, Jimmy gets home from a hard day's work, opens the door, and a dog runs up to greet him. "Yay! Doggy! I'm so glad to see you! You're my buddy!" Jimmy allows the dog to practice nut-licking on his face. Meanwhile, the dog's thinking, "Food man, food man! Food please?! I pissed your couch! Food?" I think I would rather be lonely than to know that it's an animal that makes me feel needed.

Now, I was one told that if I didn't want to take care of a dog, I would feel the same way about a baby. I beg to differ. Babies are people. They grow to be children, teenagers and adults. I see the difference.

I don't know where it came from, but people somehow got the idea that dogs have souls or that they feel and express love. They protect and comfort their providers, like those pain dogs that lick your face when you start seizing. Is that love? Some would say so. I'd call it instincts. Dogs naturally protect their providers. They can also be trained to do a lot of things, too. And they know where the food comes from. I guess I'm just one of those crazy creationists that believe God made people and God made animals, He gave one dominion over the other, and that the two don't have much in common. I see no reason to think that dogs are special animals or that they're any more of a "higher being" than rats and roaches. And unless your dog is doing something for you, I don't see the point of keeping one around. The way I see it, people just want to be cared about, and some people convince themselves that an animal can do that.

But hey, if you want to keep a dog, that's fine. If you find joy in being licked and jumped on, have a ball. Just don't expect me to play with it when I come over. To me, it's still just a piss/poop/fur machine - and I don't see any reason why you'd let in your house.

I'm sure there are dog lovers out there that would tell me, "you just don't know," or "you haven't had a dog long enough." And to them I say:

I've seen your animals. I've seen what they do. I'll pass.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

My President Is Black

I figured that since I acted like the election didn't happen, I ought to at least post a little something about the inauguration.

Did I think it would happen? Did I expect to see an African-American President? Not this soon. In fact, I didn't really see it as a real possibility until my friends and I were actually on our way to the polls. But I guess I'm not the best judge of racial standings. So yes, yes. Black President. Hoo-rah. I guess I should be happy that the door is open for black people to become President, but I can't really think of any black people I'd trust.

I try not to get too political on this blog, but it's not news that my views are very conservative. I don't agree with much of anything Obama promised to do. I'm one of those crazy conservatives that labels Obama as a socialist.

But enough about that, this was supposed to be about the inauguration. I didn't see it, but I sure enough heard about it. The one thing that stuck out to me, in all the reports and blogs is the booing of President Bush. Was that really a surprise? Sure it's incredibly rude and obnoxious. Sure it's immature and disrespectful. Sure, it's never happened before. But what do you expect when you have that many black people in the same place? Chaos! Add a black President and you should be happy nobody died! Reminds me of a funny Chris Rock bit.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Running the Wrong Race?

I have big dreams and lofty goals. There are things that I've never thought I could be happy without, and I still don't know. There is a war zone in my mind. The war waged on that battlefield is between myself and the counter-self that tells me that nothing I do is good enough, that I can't reach my goals. It's a loud voice and I don't fight it well. I take the beating, often agreeing, and live life in self-defeat.

That's no way to life and there's no happiness waiting down that path. So, where have I gone wrong? I judge myself by what other people do and what other people accomplish, comparing the results of my actions to the results others see from similar actions. When I do what they do and don't get what they get, I get mad. Then I lose the will to fight.

What I should be doing is judging myself by the life Christ lived. And when I do, even briefly, consider my dreams and goals in that light, I see that many exist in areas of life not deemed worthy of note in the records of Christ's life, written by his close friends.

Now, Christ wasn't an ordinary man; he was placed here for one specific purpose. But before he fulfilled that purpose, he lived the definitive Christian life. We were told to live like him and, frankly, that's enough to worry about. It's all we need to worry about.

Don't get the wrong idea. I don't want anyone reading this to think this is about school or something like that. I have bigger things on my plate. I'm just saying that you should live the life you were meant to live and take comfort in the fact that that's everything you were meant to be.

Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

-Psalm 37:3-6

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

-1 John 5: 14-15

The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

-Galations 6:8-10

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

-1 Corinthians 9: 24-27

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

5 Inventions That We Better Have By 2010

Spread the word, readers. I'm sending out an emergency notice to all professional and aspiring inventors, to the technologically inclined, to anyone with creative tendencies. 2009 is here and 2010 is right around the corner. Time flies, doesn't it!? I don't know about you, but to me it seems like just yesterday that we were stocking up on canned beans and Band-Aids in anticipation of the pending Y2K catastrophe.

That was almost 10 years ago and in those ten years, we've made some remarkable advancements in science and technology. Everyone got cameras in their phones, the iPod killed the portable CD player and all television should be digital by the end of next month. It's crazy! DVDs broke into the market and now that everyone's bought a player, they're on the way out. That was all entertainment, wasn't it? You know what'cha know, I guess...

Unfortunately, despite our technological leaps and bounds, technology is not advancing in all of the areas some of us had hoped. So I've compiled a list of five of the most desperately needed pieces of technology that have not yet been invented.

I believe this list is fair and reasonable. Only time will tell, but inventing these things within the year doesn't seem like an unobtainable goal.

1. Cool Shoes We Don't Have To Tie
Now, I wouldn't look down on an adult for wearing Velcro shoes. It's quick and easy, and it holds your shoes on. I think it's a reasonable alternative to traditional laces. No tripping over the laces, no laces dragging on the ground, getting all germy. I'm cool with it, really. Velcro shoes are a fashion no-no. And nobody wants Perez on the %$# (hur hur). Some shoes have elastic, but that makes them slip-ons and that means they slip off. There must be an unembarassing way to hold your shoes securely in place, in place without tying them up with strings. Someone just needs to find it.

Come on, Nike, I know you'll have "Power Laces" by 2015, but let's put a little hustle in it, kay?

2. A Replacement For Dental Floss
Dental floss has been around for almost 200 years, according to all-knowing Wikipedia. WTH, world? You must be kidding me. When Astronauts, en route to the moon finish their freeze-dried meals and need to clean their teeth, they have to reach for a roll of string to run through their teeth. Maybe I just think string, itself, is dated, but sliding it through my teeth feels like something I shouldn't have to do, anymore. It's a time consuming hassle.

Let's but an end to this, people. Find me another way to clean between my McNugget grinders.

3. A Universal Instant Messenger
Imagine if cell phone users couldn't talk to people on other networks? That's the situation we're in with instant messengers. People gravitate to the messenger that most of their friends use, and the rest get left out. Some people go through the trouble of running multiple messengers or using clients that support various accounts, such as Digsby or Trillian - but most just stick to one messenger. I can't be the only person with that one friend who uses the oddball messenger, because all of his other friends use it. Why instant messaging didn't turn out the way telephone and email did, I don't know. But it's a frustrating problem because it could have been avoided.

Since this has already become an area of competition, we need a messenger that no one can turn down. Then we'll have a messenger that everyone uses.

4. A Crippling Mac Virus
Okay, look. I don't have a problem with Apple. I don't have anything against Macs. I just can't stand arrogant Mac users that frown on PCs like they're a thing of the past.
There are plenty of reasons for owning a Mac, but one really bothers me. We've all heard it: "Macs get less viruses." It's true, too, and it's a big selling point. But it's not fair. People who make computer viruses get off on sending masses of people into panic. They're are a lot less Mac owners out there than PC and, plain and simple, it wouldn't be as much fun.
Well, folks, times are changing. Macs run Windows and college students are flocking to The Apple Store in droves. It is time for a front page-worthy virus to shut Justin Long up, once and for all and make these college students rethink their split-second decisions to go Mac.

So, come on guys! Nuke the Bagel Bites, break out the Ritz and Cheez Whiz. Grab a Vault and get to it!

So consider this a call to action. Spread the word. Alert the press. Call your local representatives. Heck, phone a friend! Tell every scientist, you know! If you don't know any scientists, tell some science students! Tell somebody with glasses. Even if these things don't get invented, something might!

So, if you've been counting, you're probably wondering where number 5 is. Well, I'm leaving number 5 up to you. Leave a comment and let me know what you think needs to be invented by 2010! Think hard, somebody may invent it. Heck, you may think of something you can make and become a millionaire!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

I'm My Buddy! You Can Be Yours!

I talk to myself. I do it a lot. Sometimes it's in third person, asking myself questions, but it's usually just me thinking out loud. I know it sounds crazy, but I swear, I'm not. Of course, I'd be the last to know, wouldn't I?

It's really not a bad idea. You would probably be surprised how often you would catch yourself thinking something crazy, once you've heard it come out of somebody's mouth. In fact, I'd recommend running a ideas past yourself before you put them in action. Even small decisions. Especially small decisions - those are the ones you don't think about.

Those "wait, why did I do that?" moments could be avoided.

I intend to get a lot of new clothes over the coming months. You may have figured I didn't, but I do realize that I wear a t-shirt and jeans, every day. I've been that way for a couple years, now. Now I actually feel like changing. First some new jackets, then I'll move on to mixing up the shirts. You may see me in a button-up, soon.

Did you know that you can access YouTube on your mobile? It's my understanding that there was a separate mobile YouTube just videos uploaded by phones. Well, now all the videos are available on the mobile site. It works surprisingly well, too. It doesn't look too great, but the videos load fairly quickly for me, only buffering at the start. I'm sure it varies a lot among different devices, but you ought to check it out. Of course, be warned, it requires huge data transfers, so make sure your plan can handle it.

I'm gonna work on this layout. Maybe tonight. I've just been templates and they're mad lame. I haven't really messed with HTML since high school, but I'd rather have a crappy layout I made that to keep these templates.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

You Know What Bugs Me?

  • 50,000 people asking "So, when are you headed back to school?" It doesn't vary much, you know? A couple of weeks, max. I know they're just making small talk, but geez! Does everyone have to use the same line? It's all I've been hearing since the day I got home.
  • When people diss stuff they know nothing about, then want to show you stuff you know you don't like.
  • House guests.
  • The weight loss supplement commercials that mention "poor diet" last on their list contributing factors for obesity.
  • Mall goths.
  • Jelly that won't spread.
  • Wapanese kids.
  • Being in a hurry for anything.
  • Group decisions decided by the minority, because the majority knows they'll get fussy.
  • People who talk to me when I'm clearly wearing headphones and make a show of how loud they had to yell for me to hear them.
  • Carrying change.
  • People who talk down on hip-hop and pop, like it's easy to make hit songs.
  • People who ask "really?" every time you tell them something. Of course, I do that all the time...

Lately, I can't seem to get up in the mornings. I've flubbed 2 (almost 3) commitments by oversleeping - with an alarm.

All the way through 8th grade, I listened to almost nothing but rock. Then I discovered Michael Jackson and I've been finding new pop to love ever since. He opened my eyes to a genre I had been ignoring for no reason, and it did wonders for my music collection. I think Alison Krauss and Lil Wayne may be doing the same thing, for two totally different genres, at the same time. All I can say is 2009 is going to be a very exciting year for me and music.

I've said it before, but I'm really excited about this story. Preview coming soon.