Saturday, November 8, 2008

Nice Guys Finish Last... No Joke?

I'm a real idiot sometimes. Did you know that? I'm waaaaaay too nice. I let a lot of things slide and I decide against doing a lot of things people ought to just let slide.

See I'm a very picky, particular person. Little things bother me. What I find myself doing is putting forth too much effort to prevent putting people through things that don't matter, because I would hate for those things to happen to me. "Do unto others," you know. Except, if controlled what people did to me, they wouldn't have much room to breathe.

A few minutes ago, I needed to get my jacket out of my room, in which my roommate was sleeping. I turned of the light in the room I was in, slowly turned the door handle, eased into the room, Solid Snaked my way to the chair my jacket was in, grabbed my jacket, tip-toed my way out and closed the door - all as quiet as a hamster (which is, in fact, quieter than a mouse). Then I though about all the times I've woken up to the sound of him closing doors when he goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I mean, it's not like he's loud, he just doesn't open a door like he's cracking a safe.

I do things like this all the time. Another scenario: I consider myself a moderately funny guy (other people used to tell I was funny, but I guess I'm slippin'). I make a lot of situational jokes, trying. I don't like the attention, so I usually just tell the closest person. Then they turn around and tell it to someone else and make them laugh. I hate that! Get your own jokes! I should call people on it, but it would embarass the theif.

What am I?!

I pay for not-dates.

I don't tell people when I'm cold in their cars.

I don't brag.

I do for people, too. I think I got that from my mother. When I see someone in need (or just want), I feel for them. When everyone looks around the room thinking "whose gonna do this," I always want to. Even little things, like answering the door. When someone isn't happy, my first instinct is to jump in and interviene. I feel like I have to do somehting. I just don't, sometimes, because I don't want to be labelled as the guy who does the stuff no one wants to. I've managed to get that a bit under control, because I've seen my mother exhaust herself, doing for others. She goes to lengths unseen, to help people. My mother is an angel, seriously. Countless people are better off for knowing her. But somtimes, when she's really been put through the ringer, I don't want that for myself. I don't know how she does it.

I also hear girls don't like it when guys are too nice. They say if I guy does too much for a woman, puts her first all the time or "treats her like a princess," she feels smothered.


No one told me. It's things like that that reinforce my belief that dating is too much of a sport. If you're trying to find someone you love, and that loves you, what's with all of the behaivior modifications?

You can't be too nice, because women feel smothered. You need the girl you like to see you as a challenge. You have treat them like they aren't important. You've got to say things that feel unnatural, do things that feel uncomfortable, and somehow end up with someone who loves you for who you really are.

Everything I'm told sounds retarded.

It all sounds like "Tips for Being a Total Jerk," yet it works for everyone else, and they swear by it. I mean, if it works for everyone, it must be true. Surely I'd be an idiot to pass up such common and tested advice. It's like you have to play the game to win, and I'm disputing the rules. I feel like a fool just for typing it, but what can I say? I just can't bend that far. I can't act so far outside of my personality. I can't go against everything that feels right.

I'm just nice.

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